I'm a romantic by nature. I've always been drawn to love stories, tales of heroic feats, legends of powerful and fated loves. Seeing an old married couple walking hand in hand has always melted my heart, and the everyday stories of how couples met and in turn maintained their bliss has always been an interest to me. I'm not a huge cheesy rom-com fan, but I do love a poetic and dramatic love story in almost any form. Love is our essence-- and it is something that most people want to find in life.

So, what happens when that part of your life is less active than a sloth on holiday in the Bahamas? What happens, when, try as you might, you just can’t seem to meet the person of your dreams? Or you keep sabotaging your relationships or falling into the wrong ones? Well, I'm here to tell you my take on this very common situation and what to do about it :)

I grew up in a very strict household. My sisters and I weren't allowed to date until after we graduated high school, and even then it was best to keep secret for fear of getting in trouble with our parents. Oftentimes (actually, all the time), I hated those rules -- I felt like I was missing out and not filling my young teenage life with fun and exciting experiences. I resented the fact that I was only allowed to go to school, dance, and parent-approved hangout sessions. I wanted to have the typical western experience of going on dates and finding love early in life. I felt all of that teenage angst and melodrama that comes with the territory of being overprotected. Little did I know, that this "overprotection" fueled in me my most useful qualities.

Because of the extra time I had by not socializing as much as I'd liked, I found time to discover what my passions were and attain my most treasured goals.

Had I been allowed to date and hang out with friends whenever I pleased, I wouldn’t have had the hawk-like focus on dance that I had had.

Had I not been required to study and read and spend my time wisely, I would not have found the true love I have of story-telling and the wondrous world of books and literature.

I delved into my own self-discovery at a young age, which gave me the confidence and bravery to know who I am and accept myself at the deepest level. Of course, I didn't know this is what was happening. It was just a by product of reading, self-reflection, and time spent on my own.

Looking back, I understand the reasoning behind my parents' rules. I'm sure many people may disagree with me, but in my experience, the lack of dating in my adolescence provided me with the focus and drive to know what I want and have the courage to pursue it. I want to make it clear that I wasn't living in a prison and unable to see anybody :) I had great friends (some that I still have to this day) and my childhood memories are very, very dear to me. My only point is, that romantically speaking, I had zero involvement in high school (except for passionate crushes on boys who probably didn't even know I existed!). And, looking back, so what!? So what if I couldn't go on that date, or had to say no if a boy asked me out? So what if I missed out on a party? You have your whole life to make bad decisions and be ruined by toxic relationships... kidding. :) But I do feel that my protective parents really were on to something.

Which brings me to today. I see so many people rushing into relationships, going on any and every date they can, just because. I've had friends tell me, "well, it's a free dinner!" in reference as to why they're going on a date they're not even particularly interested in. I'm over here like, "uhhhh, I'd rather get the food to-go than sit with company I have zero interest in?" Am I alone in this? Maybe. But here's my take:

We spend so much time thinking and obsessing over the people that are wrong for us, that we could simply miss the person we’re meant to be with because we are too busy worrying over somebody else.

We've all gone through horribly difficult breakups and experienced the chilling realization that, "wow, that person I saw every day is no longer in my life anymore." Ending a relationship is one of the hardest and trying things we can ever experience. And, of course, it is normal to frolic and have fun to take your mind off of the sense of loss, but at the end of the day, it benefits nobody-- and I mean nobody-- to jump into a relationship for the sake of being in a relationship. I know that in society it's a sort of pressure to find someone, get married, have kids, etc. And while those things are absolutely one of life's pleasures and gifts, I think waiting for the person that's right for you is essential. Some people find that early in life. Some people find it later. And some people find it not at all. Here's what I think:

1) If you've already found it, good job! We are happy for you :) Honor the one you are with and remember not to lose yourself in the process.

2) If you haven't found your person yet, there is no better time for you to better yourself than now. You have the time to accomplish your goals (if you don't know what your goals are, then this is the perfect time for you to discover those goals). When you are in a relationship, half of your life is dedicated to that other person. Being single gives you the time and focus to be able to achieve self-growth, discipline, and happiness in yourself. Don't wait for somebody else to complete you. You'll end up depending on them too much, and let's face it, nobody likes clingy :) Be a complete person ready to meet another complete person, not a half waiting for another half.

A reminder: To all my girls who want to meet the man of their dreams—he’s not gonna be charged with breaking and entering and climb in through your window to meet you. You have to actually get out of your house to meet people * cough* this is also directed at me * cough *

3)If you have not found it yet and don't think you will, that is 100% okay, too! Do you know how much there is in the world to do and see?! Life is beautiful with or without a partner by your side! There are friendships, family, new friends to meet, enchanting cities to visit, those less fortunate to help, yummy food to eat, experiences to be had. There is SO MUCH out there.

'The world is a book, and those who don't travel only read one page.' - St. Augustine. I think we would all do well to adhere by those words. Travel helps open our eyes to the wonder of life and its meaning. Being alone is empowering. Very few people can do it without feeling uncomfortable or bored. It’s a rare treat to really get to know yourself-- and most people don’t. The ancient Greeks were really onto something—Know Thyself. It’s only through knowing yourself that you can discover your life's purpose and find joy.

I personally have not met anyone that I'd like to share my life with, but so what? If it happens for me, great! If not, I am perfectly content doing my thing :)

Moral of the story: Don't waste your time. Get to know yourself. Find your purpose through self-reflection and service to others. Give thanks and be grateful-- Life is beautiful. Happy Valentine's Day :)

Don't Rush